Absent, but busy

    Mea Culpa.  I’ve been absent for a couple of weeks regarding posting, mostly due to a backlog of chaos.  Irma and I are hoping it’s under control again.  We’ll see, chaos has a way of following itself up with more chaos.

     The FAA’s been busy acting stupid, but hey, why should this month be any different than the last oh, say, 21 years?  Denver Center’s staffing continues to drop, and even though traffic is down over last year, we’re getting tired.  Having said that, I will also observe that some (okay, many) of the errors that have resulted are as much the result of dumb controller decisions as they are of fatigue.  For those who’ve not heard me talk about this before, I should explain.  At ‘center level’, an error occurs when two aircraft within the same altitude stratum (+ or – 1000ft of each other) pass within 5 horizontal miles of each other.  Doesn’t sound like much of a problem, except it’s the standard we’re held to.  An operational error is considered a big deal, one error triggers a review of your skills, more can lead to retraining or practicing your phrase “you want fries with that?”. 

     Some errors are just plain dumb luck, the result of a series of small mistakes that end up in an irreversible situation.  Some are just plain Dumb Moves, the result of someone not paying attention or trying to take a chance.  (ever see Pushing Tin?  That movie was (besides just a plain bad example of controllers in general) filled with supposed controllers constantly taking stupid chances.  I tried to watch it, never managed to get more than 10 minutes before I had to turn it off or risk permanent brain trauma).  Anyway, hollywood image aside, Controllers don’t last a full career if they continue to take stupid chances.

     However, our illustrious management seems to think every error is the result of someone doing something deliberate.  When the facility has a string of errors (such as this fall, where we’ve had 6 or so in as many weeks, compared to the usual 1 every month or two), they (upper level managers) feel that “they” have to do something.  The results, imposed on all of the controllers, is always draconian, always pointless, and always punitive.  Thus, fatigued controllers are piled on with mid level managers who are asked to wear their headsets (equipment that they only rarely use) and patrol up and down the aisle, ready to…  “Take that drink off the console, it might spill.”  or “Is that aircraft on frequency?  How about now?  now?  How about now???”  or “Um, what’s that flashing, you doing something?”  Does upper level management think their mid levels will instantly recognize an error developing, plug in and save the day?  

     It only took me a few minutes to compose myself after reading that last line over.  I suppose more explanation is in order.  In my nearly 22 years of being an air traffic controller, I’ve never had an operational error.  I suspect half of my coworkers are in the same boat.  There’s a core of perhaps 20 percent of the controllers I work with who’ve had multiple errors, probably accounting for 70% of the facilities errors.  In todays FAA, however, management doesn’t look at those who have multiple errors (unless certain conditions are met) and correct their actions.  Instead, they blanket all of us with stupid restrictions and rules that do nothing but increase our stress levels.  It reminds me of junior high, when someone in the back shot a rubber band at the teacher, and as a result, all of the class had to sit silently, doing nothing, until the end of class. 

     So pardon the cynicism.  I’ll reemphasize, We’ve a safe air traffic system.  We’re doing our best, with aging equipment and goofy bureaucratic rules and regulations, and guess what?  They system works.  Despite the bureaucracy.  I only hope nationalized health care doesn’t follow the path of typical gov’t agencies…

     On a writing note, Imperfect Hope continues to grind away slowly.  I finished Cerryn’s first two scenes (as a 9 year old), and set in on Randir’s first scene (where he obtains his adult name).  I’ve a lot of depth waiting to be added, and it seems to be the right track.  I’ll write more about it later this week, once I get the taste of FAA out of my mouth.

TTFN,
Jim

How background becomes sub-plot…

    Wren Lorus was, despite her name, anything but birdlike.  She was short, probably no taller than Cerryn’s middle brother Julius, who stood just over 5 feet tall.  Wren’s hair was black, curly, and trimmed just above the nape of her neck, a style that was not common for women of the confederacy.  Cerryn knew that there were a fair number of female questors, but she’d never met one, and had imagined that they probably looked like the Vendarian Guardian statues she’d seen at the temple, long haired and armor clad rather than short and bulky.  Her face was square and hard, her patchwork skin was darker, more scarred and tougher looking than seemed possible. Though the questor was muscular, it was apparent that she had what Cerryn’s mother would call “an embarrasment of blessings”, a feature that seemed particularly out of place on the squat warrior.  Cerryn’s attention was drawn to the livid scar that ran from slightly behind the ear down to the base of her chin.  It was ragged and raw, barely healed, and looked more torn than sliced.  She shuddered as she tried not to imagine what had caused it. 

     In developing Cerryn’s past and fleshing out Imperfect Hope, I’m introducing a lot of detail to the questors of the Eagles Forge Monastery.  Wren Loren is an aide to the questor general who has come to Whiteport looking for the questor-candidate shown to him in his visions from Valnar.  Two children, typically aged 9-11, are chosen each year (Cerryn is and are brought to the monastery to begin their training.  Wren, as a senior female questor, will act as a mentor toward Cerryn during her early training at Eagles Forge.  Confederacy (and pre-confederacy kingdoms) traditions hold that only rarely will a child shown to the questor-general turn down the honor, and that the parent’s opinions are not heard.  Part of the conflict I’m tossing out early is that Cerryn’s father, the Baron of Bruils (and confederacy council-member) would keep his daughter out of the monastery (he’s politically/matrimonially motivated).  Cerryn’s mother, though she’d much rather keep her daughter out of the questor’s life, recognizes that pitfall of trying to create an exception for her own daughter. 

     I’m laying the groundwork for events some 15 years down the road that will lead to the political embarrassment of the baron that will provide the framework for Min’s manipulation of the council later on.  The Baron, though nominally a good leader of his realm, has a blindness toward the effects of favoritism, and later on will attempt to influence the path of Remy’s career.  The resulting scandal will force the baron to resign from the confederacy council, and bring his (rather more easily manipulated) brother into the council where Min will take advantage of him.

     A lot of this background/subplotting I’d only just skimmed over in the original Imperfect Hope outline, I’d mentioned a scandal, but had done nothing to detail the players/events that led up to it.  I’d only just started fleshing it out as I started deepening the characters around Cerryn’s early age.  By tying Cerryn’s, Remy’s and Baron Nallory’s tales together, I’m hoping the story will feel more “real”.  I’ve other background items that are coming forward into the story, presenting opportunities to draw the reader into the tale more deeply, such as why Randir fears the Il’cha bonding so much, and why the walls he puts up between himself and Cerryn cause her to react in the manners I’d put forth already in the first draft.  Having shown her reactions to her brothers similar actions years past, her actions should now make sense without paragraphs of explanation.

If I show the causes clearly enough.
If the causes are memorable enough to be remembered.
If I…  Stop with the IF’s already.  Write, Jim, and worry about the details later.

Anyway, lots to work on.  I’d wanted to comment more on the previous weeks posting, and may still later this week (musings on who’s reading and why), but for now…

CLear skies,
Jim

Oh, what to write about? (No balloon tales, please)

Unlike many other blogs out there, I won’t comment on the obvious.  (I hear a chorus of cheers out there…)

On the other hand, I want to step away from writing commentary for a day or two.  (yes, I’m making progress for those who are worried.)  I scratched my head for quite a while, thinking about what I should write about.  Past topics came to mind, including musings on personality again (but I immediately started linking it to writing, so I dropped it), Adventures in Handymanland (but nothing has broken lately, and all maintenance chores of late have been uneventful things like raking leaves), or the FAA (but I don’t want to write about stupid today, so…)  So, forgive me if I meander while I seek a focus.

I’ve been wondering who has actually been visiting my blog.  I know a couple of you have commented to me, some privately thru email (thanks, Matt), others directly on comments (Art and yarnspinner on wordpress, Lou, Jeff, AML, and others at blogspot).  I know from my statcounter that there are several other regular visitors, but I’ve never been able to lure them in to comment, or even identify themselves.  I wonder if they are folks I know who want to remain anonymous, or if they are strangers who, for whatever bizarre reason have kept up with these random musings of a slightly mad air traffic controller who imagines himself a writer.  I suppose it’s even possible that my mystery visitors are folks who I knew in the past, whom I’ve lost touch with, and are perhaps curious if “old what’s his name” ever did anything with his life.

Statcounter logs visits to my blog and identifies from what part of the country (or world) they have come from through IP identifications.  I’m not convinced it is terribly accurate, for example, when I visit my blog from work, it identifies me as coming from Oklahoma City, OK (which make a bit of sense to me, since a lot of the FAA’s computer services are routed through OKC.)  Others seem to jump all around, there’s a verizon sourced visitor who’s logged as being in Washington State some of the time, California other times.  There are a couple of visitors from the UK (or maybe one who uses two different ISP’s).  Someone in Iowa, another in Florida, and…

Then there are the odd visits.  I’ve had visits from Japan and China, Saudi Arabia (wonder if that’s a US serviceman) and a couple of times, visits from Columbia. 

It makes for an interesting puzzle, I’ve been able to guess who some of the visitors are by linking a posting time for a comment to an ISP listing, except some of your ISP’s change IP’s regularly.  For example Lou’s comments, though they all identify from Denver, have no common IP to label.  Anchorage, on the other hand, is a stable IP, and knowing that, I can tell when my brother visits, even if he doesn’t always comment.  If folks don’t comment, however, I’ve no way of identifying them, other than guessing.  My visitor from Iowa for example, I’ve no idea, there’s never been a comment linked to that visit time.  Interestingly, Iowa’s ISP name is constant, but for a time this year, according to statcounter, they came from New York.  Unless that’s someone else entirely (though I suspect it is the same person, because of the regularity of the visits).  Are we confused yet? 

Is this important?  Not really, except in a curiosity sense.  Some regular visitors I know found me because I emailed most of them and announced my start up.  Others arrived (on wordpress) because of tag-searches (when I label a posting, others who look for posts at wordpress with that label may be directed to my blog).  However, other visit reasons are a complete mystery.

So, I’m going to ask the question for the regular readers who didn’t find Doriltales through my direct email contact:  How did you find D’oriltales?, what were you looking for?, and why do you keep returning?  Post a comment, anonymously if you wish, and satisfy the curiosity of this developing writer.  I promise not to use your answers for any illegal or immoral (or even ill-advised) activities. 

Beyond my own curiosity, I wonder what you want to know about.  My profile is a bit vague, I’m not even sure if anyone’s looked at it since I first put it up some two years past.  Thus, part two of my questions, is there anything that you want to ask?  I’ll answer most questions, so long as it doesn’t involve credit card numbers or the secret rituals of an air traffic controller.    Let me know…

Clear skies,
Jim

Progress continued

     Over the weekend, I set in on Cerryn’s tale, reenvisioning Imperfect Hope’s start by starting the story 20ish years prior to the events at Mud Bay that set the story in motion.  Cerryn, one of the two main protagonists in Imperfect Hope, is an 8 year old baron’s daughter, about to be “discovered” by the Questor General of the Eagles Forge Monestary.  She starts the tale looking for her brother, 6 year old Remy, the youngest child of the Nallory clan, leaders of one of the provinces of the Western Marches.  With this beginning, I feel that I’ll be able to develop her character more naturally by the time she meets Randir, as well as lay the structure for the sub-plots that are an important part of Imperfect Hope.

     Remy is a new viewpoint character, one who will have a more important role in the events following the end of IH part 1.  I’m introducing him now, however, in order to put into play some of the confederacy politics that I hinted at in IH.  Remy, as youngest son of the Baron, is expected to follow the traditional path of a baron’s non-inheriting sons, and serve the Baronry as a military commander.  However, this youngster, it turns out, is drawn to the see, and at a crux point in his story (prior to Mud Bay and concurrent to a political time bomb that Nestor sets off that discredits Cerryn’s family.)  Remy, by going to sea with one of the trade houses, turns his back on family politics, but his role in IH part two will have impact on the Empire’s plot. 

     Meanwhile, I’m going to develop Randir in a similar method to Remy and Cerryn.  Developing the character of a k’tath over time will make the character more personal, and will give me a chance to exhibit the major differences in Humanish and K’tath cultures.  I’ll be able to introduce the concept of Il’cha mates, which will go a long way toward explaining his attitudes toward the developing relationship with Cerryn late in Imperfect Hope.  Cerryn’s attitudes will also be developed in her own story. 

     As I mentioned, I tossed my early effort to write Cindas opening frame story, at least until I can have finished first draft of the early part of the tale and have a better understanding of what I am framing.  So, with the tossing out of 850 words, I still managed a net gain of nearly 3000 words over the weekend, and I spent quite a bit of my writing time polishing up some storyline concepts, so it wasn’t all writing.  It may not seem like much, but my attitude is positive, and my outlook is hopeful (if imperfect).  Now to deflect those electrons…  (so I don’t get negative…     )

     Unrelated to writing, I’m fighting an urge to comment on the stupidity of recent FAA moves…  For now, I’ll just say that, even though I agree that we need to drag our atc system into the 21’st century with some much needed upgrades, the way they’re going about it is incredibly dense.  But I guess I expect that, after 22 years in the FAA, my cynicism is well founded.  The bureaucracy of the federal Gov’t just doesn’t lend itself to well-thought out improvements.  Instead, we’re getting a radar/computer suite shoved down our throats, the interface of which was designed by software designers who have little to no real experience on what is important to an air traffic controller.  As a result, if/when ERAM is implemented, I will be able to demonstrate 5 different ways to print out NOTAMS (notices to airmen)(something I’ve never had a need to do in 20+ years), but nearly every command I use to call up important information that I typically need in seconds, (and that I can now do with a button push, 3 numbers on a keypad, and a mouse click) will require anywhere from 2-4 menu/scroll downs/mouse clicks on different parts of a 30 inch computer screen, and sometimes a half dozen + keystrokes on the keyboard.  ARGGGH!

     Anyway…  Don’t worry, the controllers will make it work.  We’ll just end up sitting in a corner at night after our shifts, rocking back and forth and babbling… Oh, I already do that….. 

TTFN
Jim

False starts, new starts.

     Last weekend, I put in some good time writing on saturday by starting in on what I’d envisioned would be the new starting point for Imperfect Hope.  I continued the experiment that concluded my first draft of IH by beginning with Cinda’s first person, folksy viewpoint providing a revised frame story for the entire IH series.  However, by the time I’d finished writing that night, I began to have second thoughts about the experiment.

     Cinda’s viewpoint, as a frame story for IH v-1, seemed to work.  Her voice brought an immediate sense of some of what was going on, and as the closing scene for IH, part one, felt like a good, emotional cliff hanger.  However, as the beginning frame for events taking place 20 years earlier, it lacks impact.  Perhaps this is because I wrote the frame story for v-1 after I’d finished the first draft, and this time I was starting with the frame.  Perhaps it just isn’t the start I needed.  Regardless, I was very unsatisfied, and sunday afternoon I deleted the scene and toyed with other ideas.

     After tossing around a mental football, I decided I’d write the first draft of Cerryn, Randir, and Remy’s tales (they lead in to the old start of IH by showing the main characters as they develop) without building the frame first, and then go back and see if first person Cinda can then frame the story successfully.  While I tossed around ideas, I put together a more detailed time line for each of the main characters, and revisited my outline/scenes.  IH v-2 is back on the front burner.

     One change I’m making to my working habits this time around is that I’m giving my Inner Critic a more active role.  The pre-story I’m working on is essentially another first draft that I’m tacking on to IH v-1, but I’m going to let myself revise this time around.  I’ll also work on first rewrite of IH v-1 on occasion, though I’m going to go slowly, rather than a rewrite, I’m going to tweak some revisions in as I make changes to the storyline in part one.  I’m still planning to do a complete rewrite, but that will begin as I finish up part one and have a complete story to do.

     Another plan, as I start getting some rewritten scenes finished, I’ll be looking for some readers to give me some initial comments.  Rather than post my story online (which messes with some aspects of selling first publication rights should I succeed in getting a saleable product), I’ll email segments to individuals who are interested.  I’ve gotten a couple of offers for help over the last year, but I’ll make an official volunteer solicitation announcement later this fall when I’m ready.  In the meantime, I’ll toss out excerpts once in a while…

     As I mentioned, vacation left my head more clear than it has been in months.  It’s amazing how much mental clutter I pick up from the day to day routine of being an air traffic controller.  I hope Irma and I get a chance to take some weekend mini-vacations in the coming months to keep my head unmuddled.  Maybe we’ll go visit the Stanley Hotel and see if the ghosts want to come out and play again… 

     Anyway, ATC duties call, so time to step away from the keyboard…

TTFN
Jim

We’re Back…

     Kauai continues to be a magical place to visit.  Irma and I thoroughly enjoyed our 2 1/2 weeks, and the feeling of de-stressing was almost tangible, by day two I felt “almost human”, instead of “government employee”.  We kept our schedule light, in fact, we didn’t really have a schedule, except for reservations to a luau, and dinner reservations at the Plantation Gardens.  We generally decided what to do on any given day over coffee on the lanai.

     Our condo had a good view of the ocean from the lanai, we could gauge the surf before we wandered down to the beach.  The first five days surf was pretty heavy, on monday the 7th, we had 7-10 foot breakers off shore, and good 5-7 foot surf on the sand.  I don’t board surf (though there were plenty of newbies getting lessons nearby), but I spent a good part of the morning getting tossed about (okay, hammered), while showing Irma how (not) to take a wave , and generally acting like a kid.  By mid swim, I felt I was up to speed in swimming in the surf (as opposed to getting flattened by the breakers).  Irma wisely kept her distance, which isn’t to say she didn’t enjoy the surf, she just did it with a firm grip on my hand (or whatever part of me she could grab, whenever a wave managed to knock one or both of us down) just outside of the zone where the surf was breaking.  The rest of our visit, surf was a more typical 2-4 foot waves, and Irma was more comfortable with swimming in the deeper water.  By the end of our trip, we both were ‘old hands’ again.  Next time, I’ll introduce her to snorkeling… 
     This is the surf on a calmer day about 50 yards from our lanai…
 

     The food was great, we went for a couple of hikes (including one into the Kokee swamp area, which was an experience I’ll describe later) and another along a very rugged cliff and beach trail southeast of Poipu.  When it came time to return, we were both disappointed to leave, but…  Work and family awaited us.  We did visit our favorite lighthouse, though, So here we are…
     As I’d promised myself, I did no writing, nor did I plot or plan on Imperfect Hope.  I did occasionally make mental notes of things to do or include.  The Kokee swamp, for example, was a hiking experience difficult to imagine.  There were pockets of what I can only describe as “dead air” where the aroma of the swamp was thick and earthy and felt like a warm, soggy blanket dropped on your head, other areas had pockets of air that was considerably hotter than surrounding areas and felt like walking into a sauna, and the rare stretch where a breeze actually penetrated to the forest floor.  The trail we followed starts climbing up the ridge surrounding the volcanic caldera, so long extinct that it is filled with real tropical rain forest, then drops down into the depths of the swamp.  We didn’t go all the way in, in large part due to our desire stay out of the knee deep mud said to exist on parts of the trail.  I’ll admit, the “dead air zones” were rather daunting in feel, like stepping into a primordial land.  I guess I’m just too used to the dry and wide open colorado trails…

     I’ll travelogue a bit more at a later date.  For now, it’s back to the FAA.  I think my biggest mental challenge upon returning to work was putting on…  SHOES.  (Imagine Gollum writhing in pain, screaming “It burns…  Get it off, it burns…”)  I wasn’t far from reacting in that manner…

     As I mentioned, I didn’t work on Imperfect Hope, except to consider mental notes.  When I got back late last week, I jotted down a bit of what I’d remembered, added that to the background content and thoughts I’ve compiled over the last 6 weeks of relative writing inactivity, and pawed through it over the weekend.  I’ve a good idea on how I”ll be approaching the rewrite now, and, barring a surprise or three, I”ll start this week.  Now to check inventory…  Coffee?  (Kauai estate reserve, check!)  Notes?  (check, if wrinkled and disordered)  Goldfish?  (Check, big dragon sized bowl)  Scotch?  (Check, but I’d better stock up…)  Wish me good writing…

Clear skies,
Jim

Vacation time

     Our long anticipated vacation begins this saturday, Irma and I are disappearing for 2 1/2 weeks.  We’re going back to Kauai, long our favorite place to decompress, specifically the Outrigger Kiahuna Plantation in Poipu Beach.  I came to realize this week how fatigued I am from the last few months of work madness.  We both need this break.

     I am not planning to write while I”m on vacation.  I might post a note or two on the blog, but I won’t promise anything.  If you’d read my observations two years ago when we last visited Kauai, you’d notice that we didn’t schedule anything.  Our day consisted of getting up and having coffee and breakfast on the lanai of our condo, listening to the zebra doves and other tropical birds chirping away.  Between the scent of the flowers, and the fresh coffee, it sets a relaxing pace.  We’ll probably do some hiking, we might go on a day sail, and we’ll consider a luau at the kilohana plantation.  There’s the Kauai Coffee Company, largest coffee plantation in the US, and several botanical gardens in the area that have short hiking trails through their gardens, from manicured to wild. 

     Kauai island has fewer than 80,000 residents on the whole island.  If you’re looking for nightlife, or crowded beaches, or exciting touristy things to to, you’ll be disappointed.  We’re not looking for the excitement of an all inclusive resort.  And we won’t be disappointed, this is our 4th trip to Poipu. 

     I’ve a couple of links to share.  The first leads to the kauai sheraton, the hotel adjacent to the Kiahuna Plantation.  Their web cam overlooks the kiahuna plantation’s beaches, we’ll be there off and on throughout the trip.  I’ll wave, just in case anyone’s watching.  The other links are to the Kauai Coffee Company, easily the best coffee I’ve had (probably because we can buy it so fresh, it’s still steaming from the roasters), and a few of the places we may visit, including the lighthouse that has contributed to my story idea, Lighthouse. 

www.seehawaiilive.com/skr-cam.cfm is the live webcam that overlooks the beach
www.kauaicoffee.com/ where we’ll buy our coffee.
www.hawaiiweb.com/Kauai/html/…/Kilauea_lighthouse.html     The lighthouse that inspired a big part of my story concept, Lighthouse.

I won’t promise I’m going to post over the next two and a half weeks.  I’m going into full rehab mode, hoping to return fresh and ready to grind it out again at the FAA, and perhaps my attitude toward IH will be freshened as well. 

Clear skies, all,
Jim

More background

     I’ve spent the last week answering some of the questions I raised for myself in reading Imperfect Hope v1.0.  Several pages went into detailing the history of the confederacy a bit more, putting a more specific timeline in place and naming/defining the different regions.  The east and west marches have taken on very different flavors, important for other tales in the D’oril world, as well as having a mild effect on the politics of the Empires plot.  I put some thought into the reasons for the various regions coming together over the last 120 years, covering the influence the triad enclaves (the three main religions of the confederacy) that they’ve wielded in influencing the course of the region, as well as the power that the trade consortiums wield in their own way.  The barons, dukes, and other regional rulers owe much of their continued success to the wealth that the merchants bring, as well as the knowledge that the enclaves provide, and as such, have been guided by them over the decades.

     This doesn’t have a direct impact on Imperfect Hope, but it shapes the characters, especially Cerryn, who’s father is one of the barons of the western marches.  It also has helped me define the role of the questors, the adventuring hand of the enclaves.

     That info is important for my writing the new first five chapters.  Cerryn’s early life at her fathers keep, and her subsequent education at the Eagles Forge Monestary, will lead her to investigating the chaos forest (temporary name for a place ruined by excessive wintergem harvesting), and ultimately introduce her to Randir.

     Randir’s tale begins with his own journey as a kel healer, and the internal politics of the K’tath as they wrestle with their desire for separatism versus the need to engage help from the south in keeping their own wintergem forests secure.  When a small clique within the sen, guided by Elorna, decides to recreate the companions of Elorna from Brandis’ time (despite the perceived problems they brought back from the empire lands), Randir is sent south to an enclave university to educate himself, as well as the scholars of the enclave about the k’tath and the wintergems.  Eventually, Randir and Cerryn will meet, and begin their journey towards the beginning of Imperfect Hope V1.

     Once again, it may seem confusing, but I’ve a strong sense of where to begin the tale now, and how to proceed.  I’ve a bit more groundwork to lay, including a rough outline of the new start, and… Soon, I hope.

     In the meantime, I’m playing with some opening ideas, either Cinda in my frame story concept, or foreshadowing the empires plot with…  Something dark and dire.  Perhaps when I finish this scotch…

TTFN,
Jim

The Big Picture, or, boy did I underestimate how much background I need.

     Imperfect Hope, v2 is still in the planning stage.  This last week, I spent quite a bit of time taking notes on the story as it is, from revising the opening chapter storylines, to asking myself questions about what/why/where/who/how with regards the overall world picture.  As a result, I’ve been focusing on history of the world (part 1???).  There are a lot of questions to be answered.

     First of all, I’m going to have to come up with a catchy name  .  D’oril is really the only named area I’ve got, and it’s a relatively small area, albeit one with huge storytelling impact.  The confederacy, lands south of D’oril, occupy nearly half of the continent, with barbaric wilds to the south of that.  However, Confederacy is, right now, more of a descriptive of the government form than a land name.  I have to name the continent, name the confederacy, and name the baronries, trade consortiums, and enclaves that compose the confederacy.  The south, as yet unimportant in my story, just took on a level of importance as I’ve referenced it in the confederacy timeline that details the relative youth of the confederacy, so I’ve got to define it with more than “here there be barbarians”. 

     Compare that to the continent of the massive Empire of Tallux.  It (the empire) has a name (from the founding emperor), though the continent, regions, and so on are completely undefined.  In Imperfect Hope, I’ve a scene that takes place in “Imperial City”, but otherwise I’ve never detailed any aspects of the land.  Until this week, anyway.  It too has been given a timeline, and some basic regions have been crudely sketched out to give weight to events referenced in IH.  However, much more is needed if I’m going to really flesh out the antagonists, I need to have a good sense of the political environment back home if the characters are going to be believable.

     I’ve gotten a very rough sense of history for both continents down, the Empire back about 650 years, the lands of the confederacy back only 200 years.  Oh, and the k’tath legends of D’oril that in my oral storytelling from Brandis go back “thousands of years”.  Blending the time scales gives a date for Sha’te Valley as having occurred 68 years prior to the beginning of Imperfect Hope.

     Reading the first draft set me up to ask a lot of questions, seeing things that need explanation (either in the story, or in the background so I can remain consistent).  The gaps in the first draft are significant, but seeing them has helped me start refining the story to make it viable.  The ruling council of the Confederacy, previously undefined, has to take a shape in order to make it clearer to me how and why the empire spy has manipulated certain members to achieve empire goals.  In turn, the empire goals have to be better understood in the context of the history of Tallux, as is the reason they’re attempting the subterfuges at Mud Bay.  I set the time gap since Sha’te, and as a result, I’ve been able to explain the changes in K’tath culture since then, which clarifies Randir’s presence in the story.  And understanding Cerryn’s fathers position in the confederacy allows me to zero in on Cerryn’s early attitudes and mores, which makes her actions in Imperfect Hope understandable. 

     It is a lot of work.  Some of it I’ll flesh out while I work on the rewrite, but a couple of things feel like they need to be addressed first.  I’m making a list of my questions, and I’ll sort them into “flesh out now” and “work on later”.  Hopefully the “now” won’t be too big…

     In the mean time, wish me luck and good scotch…

TTFN,   Jim.

    

Adding Content

     I’ve made a decision.  Imperfect Hope, first draft, needs more content.  Specifically, I’ve added to the outline what turns out to be four chapters to be added to the front of the existing first draft.  I’m planning to rewrite Cinda’s opening monologue to reflect the new beginning, and then weave together Cerryn’s tale of growing up in the Eagle’s Forge, the Vendarian training temple (think Shaolin monks from the old tv series in a vague way), then gradually drop in three other storylines, one involving Randir and his journey to becoming a companion of Elorna, another involving Cerryn’s older brother, and the third involving Del, a retired adventurer turned brewmaster.  Cinda’s opening monologue will mention Del, one of the old ones she remembers, effectively tying his story line to the long term tale.  He’ll also eventually link up with Cerryn’s brother, but in the opening chapters, He’ll start out linked with her, and then his story will diverge as hers starts to converge with Randir.  It all sounds so confusing, the way I’m describing it, but in my own imaginations, it seems to make sense.  Of course, IH v1.0 seemed to make sense, and it needs a major reworking.  But, hey, that’s what rewriting, as opposed to revising, is for.

     I am puzzling on exactly how to start Cerryn’s tale.  Some time ago, I wrote an exercise introducing Cerryn to a visiting monk from the Eagles Forge, that might make for a good start.  If I do work from that initial point, I could then drop her brother in (an older brother, something of a black sheep, who Cerryn looks up to (and later, her idealized memory of her brother will undoubtably affect her questor training in some manner)).  From there, I might skip years to touch upon her questor training before introducing her to Randir (an introduction I’d already mentioned in IH v1.0 as musings from Randir’s point of view.) 

      The as yet unnamed brother’s tale will revolve around his own path of growth to where He’ll take a center stage in IH part two in resisting the Empires efforts in Moon Harbor.  The black sheep aspect of his tale may involve his interest in the confederacy navy, something his traditionally oriented father would strongly disapprove of.  That would put him in the right place during the empires initial moves off the coast.  I’m still mulling over it, though, so this storyline may change drastically.

     Randir’s tale would begin at a later point than Cerryn’s tale, and give me the opportunity to show the k’tath culture, and his own path toward Companion of Elorna.  This line is as yet the most nebulous, but it’s also the one I’ve probably got the most background material from which to draw.  More will come, I’m sure.

     As I mentioned, Del’s tale will be referenced by Cinda, in a completely revised opening first person/present tense monologue that will encompass foreshadowing and the like.  From there, I’ll refer to Del’s story toward the end of the beginning four chapters, setting the stage for his link up in the primary story with Cerryn’s brother.  His role will expand in book two.

     All this gets me to ask myself, how many major and minor characters can I safely run in this story.  I’ve read some books (Harry Turtledove, for example) who will weave 7 or 8 major characters viewpoints together, but honestly, sometimes I get lost.  In looking at IH V1.0, I was running 3 major viewpoints, and 4 minor viewpoints, however two of the major viewpoints spend much of the time together (Randir and Cerryn).  In version two now, I’m looking at 4 major viewpoints and 5 minor views, which pare down to 3 and 4 through much of the bulk of the tale.  In addition, 1 of the minor viewpoints is a 1 scene cameo, and another of the minors is the Cinda “Frame” story.  I don’t think this is excessive, but…  I’ll see how it looks when I put it together.

     So.  Time to get back to writing.  I’ll see if I can grind out a new start to Cerryn’s tale over the next couple of days.  Wish me luck…

TTFN,
JIm